In the following discussion of the Three Types of Infidelity, we address in detail the relationship factors that contribute to a partner in a LTLR becoming vulnerable to having an infidelity. However, this in no way means that the relationship, or the betrayed partner – no matter how many mistakes he has made in the relationship, no matter how “bad” a partner he may have been – is in any way responsible for the infidelity. The betraying partner had other choices she could have made to deal with the problems in the LTLR, or to deal with her negative emotions, than to betray her partner. Just because the betrayed partner contributed to the problems in the relationship that created the vulnerability to infidelity, this does not mean he is in any way responsible for its occurrence. With these couples, this fact invariably needs to be explicitly stated. Most often, in fact, it needs to be repeatedly reiterated over the course of therapy.


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